


I love you

by Aegontargaryen (orphan_account)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 07:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7566145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Aegontargaryen





	1. The Realisation

Chapter 1 - The Realization

Alec POV

"No. No!" I shouted as I came crashing through the door of my room, "He's a downworlder, a nothing! An-and, Jace! It can't be..." I ran my fingers through my thick black hair and sat down on my bed with a thud. The experiences of the past few days chased my sanity around in my brain, and I began to doubt the few things I was sure of.

What was I even sure of, that I loved Jace? Even that was a mystery, a mystery that I had begun to unravel over the restless nights that had pursued me in weeks after I had realized it.

It. I couldn't even say it, that word. I wasn't even sure. But this was two guys I had fallen for now, so, shouldn't that make me sure? The rage boiled out of me like liquid out of a bottle, and as I stood my fists made contact with the wall. The plaster chipped and I cried "Stupid Magnus Bane!"

"Someone's angry." The familiar voice chuckled and continued, "Come here big brother, he's a pain I know."

"No you don't Izzy, you don't know anything. Just leave me alone."

"You know I'd never." She let out an exasperated sigh, "What did he do anyway, to make you so moody." The question startled me. Nothing. He hadn't done anything. Just struck up a "friendly" conversation, and I panicked, was my normal rude self, and ran away. Typical Alec. Typical second-rate, self-absorbed, over-thinking Alec. Izzy guessed what had happened from the look on my face. "What did you say, Alec?"

"I just... ugh. By the Angel, that warlock is giving me grief! Just please, Izzy, leave me be."

Izzy slowly walked to the door and paused for a minute to look back. She seemed worried. She was. But she left.

Why did these things always happen to me? Why couldn't I be like our very own perfect Jace Wayland, with his perfect little girlfriend, and perfect fucking life?

I didn't mean that. So, I took a breath and counted to 10.

"I'm not, though. I'm not Jace. I'm Alec Lightwood. I'm Alec Lightwood." The words ran through my head and I realised what an idiot I'd been.

Minutes later I stood outside the door of Magnus Bane.


	2. The Beginning

Chapter 2: The Beginning

Magnus POV

He would come. He had to come! No one had ever spoken to me like that before and left it, without an apology or anything! I expected a visit soon, surely a Nephilim boy that cute couldn't resist the charms of a man like me! And as if on cue, there was a buzz at the intercom. My heart jumped at the sound, at the thought of him standing there. Keep calm Magnus, he's only a boy. I had never felt so nervous about anyone, let alone a shadowhunter I had barely spoken too. But there was something different about this one, something different and I wanted to know what.

I walked over and pressed the intercom button. "Who is it?" I said in a singsongy voice.

"A-Alec Lightwood, I need to talk to you." His reply came back shaky, nervous.

"Oh yes, Mr Insult and leave. I suppose you best come in then." I opened the door and there in front of me was the blue-eyed boy. His eyes as they were pointed to the ground, cheeks forming a blush from my earlier comment. I turned my back to his face and sat down on my couch. He stood awkwardly in front of me, not knowing where to sit. "Please, I don't bite." He sat, "Now what do you want?"

The boy gave me an embarrassed look and said "Well, um, I wanted to apologize... for how I acted earlier. I uh-"

"It's okay, I don't bear grudges. I have quite too much time on my hands to be worrying about a beautiful boy who offended me one time. Tea? Coffee?"

"Coffee!" His face lit up at the sound of the beverage. "I haven't had any caffeine all day, thank you." He took the drink I had magicked up and sipped, his chiselled face softened and his eyes shimmered. Oh, his eyes. They were the work of angels, one look and you were lost, swimming through the bright blue oceans within them. I realized I had been staring at him for too long and stood up with a start.

Walking over to the window I exclaimed: "Goodness, it's raining, it seems you'll have to stay a while longer!" I snapped my fingers as Alec looked up, and sure enough, it seemed to be raining outside. Seemed to be, but Alec didn't need to know that.

He began to stand up and said "Oh it's fine, really, I don't mind walking in the rain. 'Sides, I only meant for this to be a short visit."

"Your wearing practically nothing!" I reasoned, I'd like him better with less on, though, "You'd freeze in this weather, just stay until it clears up."

"No, I really ought to-"

"Please, darling." That caught him. The words made him flinch, and the confidence he had been wearing like a cape shrivelled up inside him. He mumbled something that sounded like okay and sat back down. I joined him, but he looked subdued, a little afraid as well. "Smile, it won't do you any harm. Your good looks shouldn't be clouded by that moody expression." He looked damn sexy either way, but I was trying to make him feel somewhat comfortable. Alec's face turned scarlet and he bit his lip. "You should take the compliment, it's not everyday someone as charming as I tells you something like that."

"I don't know what you think I am, I'm not an-anything like that." The stutter in his deep voice sent a chill down my spine.

"Nothing, Alexander, nothing. I'm sure you have 20 other mortal girls running behind you begging for attention." I mentally kicked myself for sounded so sarcastic, it would only make him angry, and it did.

"Of course I don't, you know nothing about me!" He curled his lip, the anger beginning to show, "Who are you to start questioning me? There is nothing, NOTHING, that you know about who I like and who I don't!"

"Who said anything about that? Is this because of your silly little parabatai. You're just confused, calm down." I saw his expression relax a little with the softness of my voice, and he sighed a deep sigh.

"Sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm just confused, he's my brother, my parabatai, I can't love him like that. It's... wrong. I haven't even kissed anyone before." His voice quieted with those last words, they were almost inaudible, but I caught them.

"Really?" I said with disbelief "I wouldn't have expected someone like you to be a virgin"

"What do you mean, someone like me?"

"You, you're," I took a sharp intake of breath and practically breathed out the word. "stunning." My eyes stared into his, gauging his reaction, perhaps I was being too forward. But I didn't see that here, I didn't see anything. "Well, I for one have been alive way too long not to have done anything, so you can't expect anything from me." I said cheerfully, not knowing if it was the right thing to say or not.

"Everyone knows Magnus Bane. And everyone knows Magnus Bane's reputation."

"I suppose they do, but it was never love." Part of me changed. Part of me changed when that boy looked at me the way he did, accusing eyes but with the expression of concern. I wanted him, badly. But for once I didn't know how. He was a mystery.

"You'll find love eventually, someone like you."

Now it was my turn to ask, "What do you mean, someone like me?" I smiled as I said it, not knowing what he could say next.

He groaned, "Bane..." Alec almost growled the words, but I could see that there was a smile at the corners of his mouth.

"Well? Are you going to tell me what's so special about me?" I said leaning forward and resting my chin on my hand.

"No, no I'm not. I don't think I could say anything new to you, everything has already been said by one of your thousands of lovers."

"Touche, darling. Maybe you'll enlighten me some other time, after all, there is still one thing that hasn't been said to me." And Alec's face turned scarlet.

"Mhm, some other time..." His voice trailed off as he put a hand over his mouth and chewed on the sleeve of his top. Cute. Awfully cute.

"Well, what do you say?" My hand reached out to touch the top of his and he flinched at contact, "Alexander Lightwood, will you go on a date with me?"

"Um, I uh, I mean... Yes." And with that one word he grinned, the kind of grin that could cure anyone of anything. Wide, showing off his pearly teeth, smile lines formed, and creases around his eyes. It made me want to kiss him, heck I already wanted to kiss him. He drove me wild.

I snapped my fingers and numbers appeared on his hand.

"Call me, before I go mad with desire." I winked at him and stared into his eyes. I wasn't sure. For the first time I wasn't sure. He was amazing, perfect, he seemed more than half angel. Our faces begun to close the gap between them, and he looked at me, slightly scared. I smiled affectionately and his supple lips met mine. My hands made their way to Alec, one on his cheek, caressing the soft skin on his face, the other to his waist drawing him closer and closer. My lips pressed against his, softly, but it felt better than anything before. I was hungry, I wanted more of him. But I had to remember he was new to this. So I pulled away. You could still see the shock on his face. But then there it was, that gorgeous smile, and those eyes.

They lit up my world. He lit up my world.

And with a peck on the cheek, he was gone.

"That Nephilim better call me." I said.

"Oh, I will!" A voice rang from just outside the door. Footsteps, fading.

Then nothing.


	3. The Progression

Chapter 3 - Progression

Alec POV

Amazing. I was breathless. I ran down the streets of Brooklyn towards the institute, my heart leaping after every step. To think, my first kiss, with a warlock. It was invigorating, exciting. I reached the door, the drunk on Magnus' kiss, grinning profusely. I couldn't wait to see him again.

"Alec, hurry, it's Jace, demon attack, you were out."

Izzy. And with that, my high was over.

Jace was lying on his bed, writhing in pain. There was a large cut across his torso, oozing blood, his face was contorted into an expression of agony.

"Will he be alright? What happened? Why didn't you wait till I was back?" The questions ran out of my mouth, Clary was shouting for help, her voice echoing down corridors, the panic spreading throughout the building.

"We don't know, there was a demon that should have needed more people to kill it, Jace was convinced we'd be fine without you..." I didn't hear anything after that. He was convinced they'd be fine without... me.

It was my fault.

Everything was always my fault.

I broke down, tears streaming as I ran out of the room, away from everyone. Why was I being like this, I never cried in public, I never even cried. Why did I have to pick today to go running after some stupid warlock? Why did I always mess things up?

I just wanted to be away from everything, away from everyone. To be alone.

The clouds turned grey, replicating my emotions, and my brisk walk turned into a sprint. I didn't know where I was going, crossing roads, through alleyways, down lanes that spiralled off into darkness. I ended up by a junction, clueless to any way of getting back to somewhere safe.

One step.

Then black.

Magnus POV

I felt it. Alec. What had happened? I used my magic to track him and called my chauffeur to take me to the place. I was sure something was wrong.

There I saw him, crumpled up on the side of the road. I jumped out of the car and ran over to where his body lay. He was still alive but badly injured. "Darling, what happened?" I tried to shake him from his unconscious. Nothing. I had to bring him back with me. He had one or two broken ribs, and he had hit his head hard on whatever had hurt him. Not to mention the obvious cuts and bruises all over his body.

I laid him down in the car, trying not to hurt him any more than he was already. I was worried, but I could fix a simple accident like this.

I hoped.

Alec POV

I woke to see his cat eyes fixed on me, the worried expression on his face washed over with relief to see my eyes open.

"W-what hap-" I gasped as the breath was knocked from me. The pain was searing down my right side and my fists clenched in agony.

"FUCK!" I shouted as it only got worse as I spoke. Magnus started from the foul word and he became panicked as he raised his hands and used his magic to lessen the pain. "My stele," I panted "It's in my jacket pocket." He handed me the ornamented stick, and the familiar burning heat returned as I retraced the healing Rune. I sighed with relief as the pain began to suffice and I sat up as Magnus whispered: "Please, go back to sleep, darling, rest is what you need." And with that I lay back down on the bed, resting my head on one of the luxurious pillows, and slept.

The Morning After

My hair was tangled and static from the array of materials on the pillows, I had tossed and turned all night as bad dreams had plagued my sleep. Visions of Jace on his bed, me running down the streets at night, then black. But then an Angel rescued me.

Magnus.

There was a dull ache in my body, but nothing compared to what I remembered from yesterday. I checked the clock. 9:26. Good time to get up. I walked through the rooms, trying to make my way back to the living room, that's when I saw Magnus sound asleep on the couch.

"Hey, Magnus," I whispered, "wake up." I planted a soft kiss on his forehead and despite having slept on the couch his hair looked impeccable. As if he had styled it messily on purpose. I wanted to touch it, to feel its soft texture between my fingers. I wanted to kiss him too.

"Mhm, Alec..." His voice came soft, groggy from sleep. "Why are you.. oh.. Alexander! You shouldn't be up, you should be resting! Are you okay? Can you remember what happened?"

"Stop, stop, calm down, I'm fine. I think I was hit by a car or something."

"But you've broken ribs, how are you walking around?"

"Ahh, the magic of Runes." I sighed. "It's 9:30, I'll make some breakfast."

"No! I mean, it's my house, I'll make it. Omelette alright?"

"Perfect." I said with a smile.

"What me or the omelette?" Magnus replied with a laugh. My face turned pink, the familiar blush returning to my cheeks. God, I hated that.

"Uh, both." What do I say? "I want you more, though." My quiet attempt at flirting made me cringe inwardly, I was so embarrassing. The stunning warlock laughed a pretty laugh, his face was bathed in sunlight from the open window. "What am I supposed to do now. Oh no. Jace." My sudden concern brought Magnus over to me, his slender fingers tracing a circle around my back, it sent tingles down my spine.

"What happened, baby? Why were you out there so late?"

"I, uh, I-I" And the tears started streaming again. "Jace was there, h-he was just lying there!" I said between sobs.

"Darling, baby, slow down, take a deep breath. Look here's a tissue, dry your eyes dear. You can tell me what happened over breakfast."

As the plates were set before me, I began to recount last night's events.

"And it was all my fault. Because I wasn't there Jace got injured, and-

"It wasn't your fault, stop telling yourself that. You couldn't have done anything, and they shouldn't have gone out before you were back."

"But-"

"No, come here." My head buried into Magnus' shoulder, his arms reached to stroke my neck and my back. I felt good being here, it felt right.

"Look, I better get back to the Institute, people will be worried," I said pulling away from the taller boys embrace.

"Are you sure? You're welcome to stay here you know."

"Uh, I'm-a fine." I could tell Magnus had seen the blush, as he smiled cheekily.

"Okay then, pretty eyes. Call me later, you still owe me that date."

"I'll text."

"Do I get a kiss goodbye?"

I paused for a minute and teased him, thinking."Oh, come here." Magnus' hand reached for mine and he pulled me closer as our lips made contact. His tongue pushed at my bottom lip, willing me to open my mouth, but I pulled away. "Save that for later." I whispered in his ear, grinning. And I was out of the door.

Alec: Hey, it's Alec.

Magnus: Hello! How are you?

Alec: Feeling better, tnx. Jace is asleep, don't know how he'll be.

Magnus: I hope he's better, for your sake. Glad ur good. How about tonight then?

Alec: I don't know if I can, I should stay with Jace.

I didn't want to, I wanted desperately to be with the perfect man who for some reason, liked me.

Magnus: I understand. But I would so like it if you could. :)

Alec: Um, OK then, I guess. But not for too long, tho.

Magnus: Alright then, I trust you don't want me round ur place then? Come round here 8ish? Is that OK :P

Alec: Sure, I'll see you then!

We talked some more, Magnus making passes at me every once in a while, me trying to ignore them. It didn't work. Soon enough I had to get ready, and right on cue Izzy was at my door.

"Well, Alec, you never change clothes for anyone. Is there a certain special warlock working his charms?"

"Ha. No."

"Hmm sure, where's he taking you then?"

"I don't know, I'm meeting him at his house."

"So it is Magnus Bane! Oh, I thought you would be fine. Well, you can't just wear anything on a date with the king of fashion!"Izzy walked over to my wardrobe muttering "How can a boy not have anything in his closet that isn't black?"

She gave me a pair of black skinny jeans and a black button-up shirt, then ran into Jace's room to borrow his burgundy leather jacket.

"Thanks, Iz."

"No problem, big brother." She smiled and left me to change.

Magnus POV

The quiet knock at the door made my heart leap, I tried to stop myself from running to the door but it was too late.

"Hi!" I grinned, it was so nice to hear his voice again.

"Hey, you ready?"

"Sure."

I took Alec to a nice restaurant about a 15-minute drive from my place, as we walked in someone coughed "Faggots" at us. I had dealt with this, and there wasn't much that anyone could say now that would affect me, but Alec hadn't. I felt his back go stiff and his hands clench and I had to whisper in his ear to get him to calm down. He was cute, but I didn't like to see him angry.

A waitress from a giggling group of girls walked over to us and took us to our place. Not this again. Not here, with Alexander.

"Welcome to The Olive Grove, can I get you any drinks?" She said, smiling at me.

"A red bull and vodka for me, Alexander?"

"Just a soda, thanks."

The waitress walked away, her friends laughing and staring at me. "Don't you drink?"

"Uh, no. I don't like it when people have alcohol, it makes me nervous."

"Oh, well you should have told me. I'll change my order then."

"No, no, it's quite alright. Don't bother for me."

"I'd do a lot for you."

"What are you having to eat?" He was trying to ignore me, but I could see the blood rushing to his face. He was fucking adorable.

"I'm not quite sure, what were you thinking?"

"Well I haven't been here before, do you think you could order for me?" His big blue eyes smiled up at me, and there was no other reply I could give.

"Of course, darling." I said leaning over to touch his hand. He jerked back, scared.

"No, Magnus, not here, please later. I'm sorry." That boy, always apologizing.

"That's okay, there's no need to be sorry." I smiled affectionately. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

The waitress came over to take our order, and we talked about this and that, getting to know each other. I made a conscious effort not to touch my drink, and instead drink the water. As our food came I saw the waitress slip something under my plate and wink. Oh no.

"What was that?" Alec asked, curiosity growing.

"Nothing, sweetheart, nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over."

"But she put something under your plate, I saw." I took the piece of paper from under my plate and ripped it up.

"See? Nothing."

He groaned, realising what had happened. "Well, at least people agree with how sexy you are. Honestly, do you get this every time you go out?"

"Not every time of course. So you think I'm sexy?"

"Uh, mm"

"What was that?" A smile forming on my lips as the boy flushed.

"Nothing, as you say."

"Touchè."

Finally, we finished eating and paid."Come back to mine? We can have drinks!"

"For a bit, okay." I smiled, the boy seemed happy, so I was too.

We reached my house and I told Alec to sit down.

"What do you want to drink?" I called from the kitchen.

"Water is fine."

I got him a glass and a Pepsi for myself, I had poured a little vodka in my drink, I didn't think I could go dry the entire night.

"By the Angel, Magnus, you can smell the vodka from here!" Maybe it hadn't been a little.

"I'm sorry, love, it's only a small amount. Do you want to put something on TV?"

He chose a comedy film and we sat, my arms cradling his shoulders, planting the occasional kiss on his forehead. Soon I couldn't resist him anymore. Turning my head I faced him, and kissed him, passionately, if a little forcefully. Once again, pushing with my tongue, I felt his mouth open a little allowing me to peek inside. His hands begun to move to my back and caressing the hair on my head. It felt different, new. Obviously, I'd done stuff like this before, but Alexander fitted into me perfectly, like a key into a lock. He tugged at my hair and I gasped in surprise, pulling away for a second.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, I-I liked it." And we were back at it, Alec's tongue fighting for dominance, but it was a losing battle, and I ran my tongue over his perfect teeth. I wanted more, so I started kissing down to Alec's neck, sucking on one spot. A soft moan escaped from the boy's mouth, only causing me to suck harder out of desire. My mouth ran back up to his, and my hands wandered to underneath his shirt.

"I'm sorry, not yet, I can't"

"That's alright, I can resist you a little longer my dear." Making out and cuddling was all well and good, but this boy was making him insane.

"Oh shit, is that the time? I really need to go."

"Oh baby, but I want you to stay."

"I want to stay too, but I can't, I have to get back to Jace."

"It's alright dear. Run along." Pushing Alec's hips against the door, he kissed him again. They said their goodbyes and Magnus was alone, the warmth of his body fading, along with the happiness.

Alec POV

He arrived home to see Izzy waiting for him, eager to hear how it went.

"So what did you do?" She said excitedly.

"Just went to dinner, then came back to his and watching a movie. You know."

"You must have done more than that." She said, grinning.

"Why do you say that?"

"There is a definite hickey on your neck."

"I could kill that man!" Reaching a mirror, there it was, a the reddish purple mark underneath his chin. For crying out loud, honestly?

I grabbed my phone.

Alec: I don't remember asking you to leave a mark!

Magnus: ;) Little reminder of me.

Alec: Ugh. You are so annoying. Gtg hide your 'reminder'.

Magnus: Nah, you like me really. Otherwise, how would u have got that? Have fun sweetheart!

Magnus Bane. Just one hell of a warlock.


	4. Healing

Chapter 4 - Healing

I had been sitting with Jace for over 2 hours now. I didn't know if he was ever going to wake up. Every so often, he'd have a sort of spasming fit, and I begged and begged for it to be over, I'd swear on anything and everything I could, I just wanted him to be okay.

"Alec..." There was a soft knock at the door, "what are we going to do?"

"I don't know Iz. I don't know." My voice sounded hoarse, I hadn't spoken to anyone in a while, I had just been watching him.

"Maybe, you could, uh. Well, I had an idea..."

"Come on spit it out."

"Magnus? Could you call him, maybe he could help? He fixed you up pretty well when you..." She trailed off, not wanting to make me cry again.

"Um, I guess I could." A flush ran up my neck at the sound of his name. I wondered how one person could make me feel so vulnerable, yet so special.

"I'll stay here while you call."

Picking up the silver-grey phone lying on the bedside table, I clicked on the grinning face of the boy, number 4 on my speed dial.

"Hey gorgeous, how are you?"

"Magnus, this isn't the time for flirting," Izzy smirked, "Could you come round?"

"Someones eager?"

"No, it's Jace, he hasn't got much better, I was wondering if you could help."

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mag."

"Mag? Where did that come from?"

"Oh uh, I don't know, sorry I, I just.. um"

"Alec, darling, it's fine. I like it. I like anything you say." I could tell Magnus was smiling from over the phone.

"See you then..."

"Bye, Alexander."

Not long later Magnus came striding through the door, stopping when he saw me and Jace.

"You should have called me earlier, this is serious." Immediately, he began chanting in Latin, directing his magic at the invalid. I hoped he could fix him. I didn't want Jace to, no. Don't think that. He'd be fine. Magnus would save him.

The sweat on Magnus' brow collecting as he exerted himself, his voice kept becoming quieter and quieter over the time he cast his spells. It was worrying, what if something happened to Magnus as well, I would never forgive myself, this was two people I would have caused injury to.

The taller man's voice was practically a whisper, his eyes narrowed, focused on his patient. Then there was a loud gasp and Jace's eyes snapped open. At the same time, Magnus collapsed into my arms, I had already stretched out my hands as I panicked when the man's cat eyes began to flutter shut. But Jace! I quickly lay Magnus down on another infirmary bed and ran over to my friend. His chest was heaving and his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, not blinking. I grabbed his hand and squeezed, mentally begging for some form of recognition.

"Jace, Jace can you hear me?"

"A-Alec, I d-d..."

"Shhh, go to sleep, brother." Jace's eyes closed, his breathing slowed to a normal rate, and the soft moans and groans of the sleeping boy made me glad I had called Magnus.

Oh shit.

Was he okay? What had happened? Oh god, why does this always happen to me? And why is it ALWAYS my fault? I turned round to see Magnus sitting up in the bed, a weak smile on his face.

"You look so shocked babe, I'm fine, and Jace should be too."

"Th-thank you, so much." A sigh of relief escaping my lips. Tears began to well up in my eyes, it had been too stressful of a day.

"Come here." And I slumped into his warm arms, a hand trailing across his neck.

"I better get Izzy. She'll want to see him okay."

"Okay then, I should get going as well."

"No!" I said too quickly, Magnus' sly smile creeping back to his face. "I just mean wouldn't you like to stay for dinner?"

"You know I'd love to." He said smiling and lying back down on the bed.

"That's that then..." And I walked out the door.


	5. Dinner

Chapter 5 - Dinner (I'm getting so uncreative with these titles)

"Iz please tell me you didn't cook!" My voice shouted as I walked into the dining room. She walked over with a smile.

"Of course not." Her voice became a whisper in my ear as she muttered: "Wouldn't want to poison your new boyfriend, would I?"

"Izzy!"

"I ordered takeout, Chinese. And yes I got those noodles you like."

"Thanks," I grumbled, sitting down at the table. I could hear two voices coming towards the dining room, one was Clary, telling the other one to be quiet and behave, the other...

"AND THIS ROOM JUST GOT MORE AWESOME 'CAUSE I WALKED IN!"

Simon.

"Please tell me who invited the mundie?"

"Awww, Alec don't be like that," Izzy said, "I invited him."

"Iz, you're bad enough without suddenly getting urges to invite blithering idiots to dinner!"

"Well, we don't want to embarrass you now, not in front of-"

"IZZY!"

"Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting."

"Sure you do." The sarcasm surprising me, I must be spending too much time with Magnus.

"JACE!" Clary ran forward to the door where he was standing, throwing her arms around him. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," He said with a chuckle, "perfect, now you're here." He thought we couldn't hear that. No, we all did.

"Oh, I'm so glad," She said tears beginning to form, "I thought you might..."

"I couldn't leave you." The jealousy began to boil in the pit of my stomach. He didn't even acknowledge how much time I'd spent, that I was the one who looked after him. This redhead had only stood around, faffing about how Simon says this, and Jace better be fine. Infuriating.

"Jace, did you see Magnus up there?" Izzy said, seeing the expression on my face.

"Huh, what? No."

"Well, he must be here somewhere."

"Why? Was he here?"

"Who do you think healed you?! Alec called him."

"Okay I thought I was just cool enough to do it myself, and why do you have his number?" Someone, please save me.

"Well, that's nice, you ungrateful lump." Izzy butted in. I love you so much.

"sor-ry!" There was a tuneful rap at the door

"Must be the takeout! I'll get it!" Izzy shouted. "Oh." We heard her say a couple seconds later, "so that's where you went. Come on then!"

One glittering warlock walked into the room.

"Hey, guys, Alexander." Jace gave me a quizzical look, "Sorry I left, I had to change before dinner, Blondie gave me quite a workout." He shot Jace a glare, before grinning suggestively at the rest of us.

Finally, the takeout arrived and everyone sat down at the table, the pairings seeming obvious. Clary next to Jace, Izzy dragging Simon with her (he gladly agreed), and Magnus and I being left with the two seats we sat in.

"Did you know that the Chinese eat almost everything that moves, like snakes, scorpions, intestines, and even boiled blood! I could never just eat blood, I mean how disgusting!" Simon. No. "AND," He said loudly, making a point of going on, "they use an average of 45 billion chopsticks per year! Think of the trees they must use up! No wonder the rainforests and endangered and-"

"Can someone tell him to please, just shut up and let me eat in peace!" I couldn't stand the mundane, especially when he started rambling, and especially when I pictured him with his hands all over Izzy. Gross.

Someone leant over to me, who am I kidding, It was Magnus. "I kinda like you when you're all feisty..." Was he trying to make me blush? It worked, my face was burning and I could see Jace giving me another look.

"Magnus..."

"I know, I know, you're just too cute when you blush!" Clary started staring in the direction Jace was, saw us and giggled.

"He's funny, I wonder what Magnus is saying." I heard her ask Jace. He said something I couldn't hear, and Clary burst out laughing, her face turning almost as red as her hair. I needed to speak to Jace after this.

"Could someone share the joke?" Simon's voice broke the near silence, and his hatred for Jace was obvious, obvious being an understatement.

"Well, we were just looking-" Clary began, but Jace butted in.

"No, it wasn't that funny. It's fine."

"Okayyy." Simon looked dubious. I realized I had been holding my breath through most of this conversation and as I exhaled it was way louder than I expected.

"You are too nervous, Alec, what's gotten into you?" Shut up Clary, please.

"I'm not nervous!" I said with an incredibly nervous laugh, "I think it's just really hot in here, that's all."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S LIKE 30 DEGREES!"

"Simon, what kind of ridiculous exaggeration is that?"

"I was just saying it was cold, Clary." He mumbled stuffing a mouthful of food in his overly talkative gob.

"I'm going to get a drink." I murmured, wanting to die because my glass was most definitely full.

"But-" Simon started to say, Izzy poked him whispering: "Let him go..." in is ear.

This was going awfully. Fuck Simon. Fuck everyone. I couldn't take it anymore, I just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep forever. But I couldn't do that, Izzy would be upset, and we had company. I splashed some water on my face and took a deep breath. Why was I panicking so much? Izzy already knew, Jace seemed to have suspicions that something was going on, if he knew then Clary would, and judging from the laughing he was pretty open. The only person at the dinner table who probably didn't know was Simon, but I doubted he knew anything.

Someone knocked at the door. "Hey." His soft voice soothing the turmoil in my brain. Only he could change my world so quickly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think. Just overwhelmed. Nothing to worry about Magnus."

"Alright then... just, tell me if you're not okay, please?"

"I will, I pro-" I choked on my words, not knowing what in this man's words made me turn to jelly. The tears began to stream down my face and a pair of muscular arms wrapped around me whilst Magnus kissed the top of my head. "Thank you," I whispered, "I needed someone."

"I'll always be here for you, darling." I turned around and kissed him, letting my worries melt into thin air.

"Um, sorry am I interrupting something?" Jace.

"Jace, uh I.." I always thought I would panic like this. I looked over at Magnus who gave me a reassuring nod, took a deep breath and said. "Jace, I-I'm gay."

"Good! I was starting to think I had been seriously wrong thinking that."

"What? Did you know?"

"Oh, for years, I was just waiting for you to tell me. I'm honestly a little ticked off you decided to tell Izzy and not me."

"Wait, how do you know Izzy knows?"

"Oh give over Alec, you know here. Well, I guess I've solved the mystery of Alec's disappearance when we went to fight that demon."

"Yeah, you were an idiot for not waiting."

"I was angry! Now, are you going to come back or not?"

"Mmhm!" I said grinning, overjoyed that we were talking like we used too, and we followed him back into the dining room.

I wanted to make it official to my friends, or at least to Simon, he was pretty much the only one who didn't know now. Not that I cared about Simon, of course, I was just happy. I had already finished my meal, as had everyone else, and Izzy was about to start clearing the dishes away, so I made my move. Grabbing Magnus by the neck, I kissed passionately, our mouths collided by the force I had used, but Magnus, obviously surprised, just used this as an excuse to push his tongue into my mouth. It was never a true Magnus make out unless he stuck his tongue down your throat, not that it wasn't good, it was amazing. He gave a soft moan, then remembering where we were pulled away, slightly embarrassed.

"Woah..." Simon breathed, being the first to talk as per usual.

"I KNEW IT!" Clary shouted, grinning. Izzy just looked really happy.

"I didn't say it before, but who knew Mr Sparkles would be Alec's type?" Typical Jace, I thought, smiling.

"WAIT YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?"

"Yeah, Rat-boy, I'm pretty sure they all knew about me being.. uh," Magnus said looking at me.

"He means they all knew about Magnus being my boyfriend." I said, shyly.

The warlock looked stunned as he leant over and said quietly, before bringing me into another embrace, "Boyfriend now? I like it, but not as much as I like you."

Yes, I thought, Magnus Bane is my boyfriend.


	6. Nothingness

Chapter 6 - Nothingness

Magnus POV

"Alec, darling?"

"Mm" My boyfriend rubbed his sleepy eyes, and his head lulled towards mine.

"Do you think you should tell.. you know."

"Yes, Magnus, I know. I-I'm just, scared."

"Okay, just when you're ready. I think it would be good for you."

"Yeah. I will."

I was worried about him, sure he'd go home, talk to everyone, eat dinner, and he'd be okay. But if someone mentioned his parents, he would tense up with nerves. I didn't know what was really going on in his head, and why he thought they'd react so badly, but I didn't want him to feel like this.

"Why are you so afraid?"

"I-I can't tell you."

"But why can't you tell me? You tell me everything!"

"Because it's not about me, okay?" His voice getting louder and louder with every word he spoke.

"Just tell me and I can help you!"

"When have you ever told me anything about you?! Huh? I don't know about your parents, anything about your past, who you've dated, bad things that happen. But you expect me to just unlock myself to you?!" He stood up forcefully, making the floor vibrate. "Just leave me alone, will you?

"But-"

"JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" My mouth dropped open, he was so brash, he didn't even look back as he left the apartment. He didn't even say goodbye.

Five missed calls from Magnus Bane

Magnus: Alec, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Call me back.

Magnus: Alexander please, I'm so so sorry.

Magnus: Please forgive me.

Magnus: I can't bear it without you. Please call me.

Magnus: You don't even have to call, a text is fine. Let me know you're okay.

Magnus: I'm begging you, come back. I won't ask about it again, I promise.

Magnus: Call me.

Magnus: Are you okay? Reply, please.

Magnus: Alec, I just want to know nothing's happened. I just want you to forgive me.

Magnus: I'm so sorry.


	7. Return

Chapter 7 - Return

Alec POV

I'm going to do this

I'm fine

There's nothing bad about being truthful

I saw my mother and father, sitting in the lounge.

"Hello, Alexander!" Her voice was so happy, I couldn't help thinking how disappointed they'd be. My father looked up and gave me a quick nod.

"Mom, Dad, there's something I want to say." Concern washed over their faces like water and oil, bubbling to the surface, then drowned by nervousness. "I-I'm gay."

Shock.

Horror.

Revulsion.

"Get out." His voice rung in my ears.

"Bu-"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Father, I-"

"There is no place for a dog like you here!" He grabbed me by my shirt collar. "If I ever see your faggot face around here again, you won't be getting off so lightly!"

A blow to my face.

A second to my stomach.

Time stood still as crude words and insults tripped off his tongue. His true nature becoming so apparent. The hatred for me becoming so apparent.

"I'm still," I said between shaky breaths, "your son."

"YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE! YOU ARE NOTHING, NOTHING BUT A FUCKING DISSAPOINTMENT!" The words becoming louder than I expected possible. Then only I could hear the hissing malice that was his voice. "If I were you, I would kill myself. The world would be better off." And with one final shove, he pushed me onto the streets, blood streaming like my tears, bruises forming, marking the things I had done to my family.

Lost.

Swimming through a sea of darkness, no light, no air. My chest was rising and falling but the oxygen I craved seemed to disappear, leaving my lungs crying out. People stared, people pointed, peoples face contorted with a mix of confusion and disgust.

That's what I was.

Disgusting.

Where could I go? There was nowhere, nowhere, for a monster like me.

I guess, I mean... I could.

Magnus POV

Why won't he call me? What if something's happened to him. I had spent the day crying, confused, hurt. I didn't want to see anyone. I was a mess. I had told all my customers to go away, friends to leave me alone. But I hadn't told Alexander anything. That was a lie, I'd left him plenty of texts and voicemails, and I could assume he'd got them. But he didn't want to speak with me.

Knock Knock

"I'VE TOLD EVERYONE TO LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, a desperate plea for help, even though the words told whoever it was to leave.

"Magnus." A familiar voice. Warm, but, there was something wrong.

"What's happened, who is it?" My red-rimmed eyes looked up at my angel. But the angel had fallen, damage had been done.

"I-I'm s-sorry" He took gasping breaths, clutching his stomach, the dried blood across his face making my mouth drop open.

"Alec, what.. Come inside, quick." And he collapsed.

Alec POV

"I feel like I'm always waking up on your couch."

A blurry had reached out to shift my sweat-ridden hair from my brow. His touch was like a drug, I had been longing for it, craving it. "Don't worry, there is no time where you are not welcome." He passed me a glass of water, the clear solution trickling down my parched throat, soothing the irritated passageway. "Now, can you explain to me why you collapsed at my door?" Flashing me a grin, his eyes sparkled. He was back. That lifeless figure I had seen when I arrived, the scream, that wasn't the man I knew.

"I, uh. I came out to my parents."

"Oh Alec, I'm so sorry. I'm guessing they took it badly." My body began to involuntarily shake, tears welling up in my eyes. Taking gulps of air I breathed "My mother just sat there, she didn't look angry or anything. But, my f-" I shuddered, "Robert. He didn't exactly. He said... things, and uh-"

"It's okay, Alec, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Well, I'm guessing the reason you came here is because you think you can woo me into letting you stay." He winked. "I wouldn't have it any other way. You can sleep wi- in the guest room if you want, or you can have my room and I can sleep in the guest room. I guess you've stayed at mine before, you should know where you want to go. You could take the couch I guess but that's kinda un-"

"Magnus."

"What?"

"You're rambling."

"Right, uh."

"I can stay in the guest room, thank you."

"Okay, the bed should be made up, you can bring your things there." He looked around. "Oh. Darling, you didn't bring anything did you."

"Sorry, I left in a hurry, I'll get Jace to bring things over."

"The blonde one? Couldn't you have at least got someone entertaining? Even that mundane's better than your narcissistic twat of a-"

"Brother. Right."

Magnus winced, " Sorry! I got carried away, ignore me, you'll get used to it." I snorted.

What was I doing?

What were we now?

What were we ever?

The next evening

The guest bedroom was full of boxes containing my things, Jace and Izzy had brought them over a couple hours ago. Magnus and I stood, admiring the sheer amount of things I owned.

"If you sold all this you could rent a flat!"

"If I sold all this I'd have nothing."

"Oh. I mean you don't need a flat, you have here!"

"I can't stay here forever, though."

"I wouldn't mind."

"You... um, sorry, just seeing all the boxes here makes it real. They all hate me."

"Alec, you're just saying that. You know your brothers and sister don't hate you, and you said yourself you didn't think your mother was angry!"

"I guess..." Mangus' golden-green eyes searched the room for anything to take my mind off it. I just stared at the proof of my homelessness. His eyes lit up as he saw something across the room.

"Hey, I didn't know you played the guitar!"

"I used to take lessons when I was a bit younger. I just play for fun every once in awhile."

His head shot up and gave me a strange sort of look that made me feel like I'd jump off a bridge if he told me too. He looked so... graceful. His body moving in a fragile manner as if he was made of glass, but it was purity in its essence. "Would you play for me?"

Moving towards the wrapped up acoustic, I said: "What song?"

"Anything as long as you're playing it." So I began playing the familiar chords of one of my favourites*

"Feels like I'm in a cartoon

Lovestruck, shot with a harpoon

Flying high as a balloon

And I ain't coming down"

"Got no, no chill around you

But I'm trying, trying to play cool

Don't want to rush it on too soon

I'm keeping you around" His voice was smooth, slightly lower than his speaking voice, and the words formed like melted marshmallows. We continued to sing, four lines each, together on the chorus and so on. It felt right. We were meant to be connected, we were meant to be as one. The song ended and I sat my guitar aside.

"How did I ever leave?" His eyes seemed different. He seemed different. But when our hands met he was back, the man I knew before I had gone.

"How did I ever let you go?" It was a madness of lips, tongues, teeth, hands, everything. The amount of passion poured into the embrace could kill, but it just left us wanting more. Mashed together, a vortex of romance, even stopping for a fraction of a second for air made us cold and worn, as if we'd lost something. He was my everything. I didn't see a point without Magnus here. All my anger and sadness from before had just become desire, and I was left lustful.

"Una in perpetuum"

"What?"

"Together forever."


End file.
